They Knew Everything.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood Plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The King of Hearts is the only king without a moustache.
American Airlines saved $40,000.00 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with woman, what does this tell you!)
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particales resulting from the flush. (I keep mine in the living room now!)
Turtles can breath through their butts.
(I know some people like that, don't you?)
Now you know everything.
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”
That’s right, they didn’t have the green thing in her day. Back then,
They returned their milk bottles, Coke bottles and beer bottles to The store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed, sterilized and refilled. Using the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But they didn’t have the green thing back her day.
In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn’t have an Escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.
But she’s right. They didn’t have the green thing in her day.
Back then, they washed the baby’s diapers because they didn’t have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that old lady is right, they didn’t have the green thing back in her day.
Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house, not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a pizza dish, not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn’t have electric machines to do everything for them. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, they didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
She’s right, they didn’t have the green thing back then.
They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen. They replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But they didn’t have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus, instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But they didn't have the green thing back then!
Do You Remember?
All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?
It took five minutes for the TV warm up?
Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school?
Nobody owned a purebred dog?
When a quarter was a decent allowance?
You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny? Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?
All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done every day and wore high heels?
You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time?
And you didn't pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot?
Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?
It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?
They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . and they did? When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?
No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?
Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a ."
and playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?
Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?
And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace,
and share Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy with the children of today? As well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games, Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to Green Lake,
and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar. Candy cigarettes, Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside,
Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles, Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes, Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum,
Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers, Newsreels before the movie, P.F. Fliers, Telephone numbers with a word prefix...(Sunset 3-6701), Party lines, Peashooters, Howdy Dowdy, 45 RPM records, Green Stamps, Hi-Fi's, Metal ice cubes trays with levers, Mimeograph paper, Beanie and Cecil, Roller-skate keys, Cork pop guns, Drive ins ,Studebakers, Washtub wringers, The Fuller Brush Man, Reel-To-Reel tape recorders, Tinkertoys, Erector Sets, The Fort Apache Play Set,
Lincoln Logs, 15 cent McDonald hamburgers, 5 cent packs of baseball cards - with that awful pink slab of bubble gum, Penny candy, 35 cent a gallon gasoline, Jiffy Pop popcorn
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?
A foot of snow was a dream come true?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
War was a card game?
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!
Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats?
Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on?
If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of a church show a lack of faith?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of your wishes?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?
why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
Why is it that the person who drives slower than you is a moron and the one that drives faster than you is a complete idiot?
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
Some new, some old...many very interesting!
Many years ago in
Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the
US Treasury. Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
The percentage of
Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
The average number of people airborne over the
US any given hour: 61,000 Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter:! Tom Sawyer.
San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independenc e on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
It was the accepted practice in
Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month . which we know today as the honeymoon. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
I>Many years ago in
England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice. ......................................................
Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can
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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.? (Are you doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)
There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You're not doubting this, are you?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious..' (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.)
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.!)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Now you know more than you did before!!
Comments Made in the Year 1955!
'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.'
'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.'
'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.
'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'
'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'
'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'
'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'
'I'm a fraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it.'
'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.'
'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'
'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.'
'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.'
'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.'
'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.'
'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.'
'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes.&n bsp; I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.'
'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'
'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'
'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be an American!
Marriage changes passion.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? A completely brillant question!!!!!!!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
Eat and drink what you like.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Washington .
If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Washington .
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Washington .
If you measure distance in hours, you live in Washington .
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Washington .
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Washington .
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Washington .
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Washington .
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Washington
If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Washington.
If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Washington .
If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Washington .
If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Washington .
If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Washington .
If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Tullys, you live in Washington.
If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Washington .
If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup , Abiqua, Issaquah, Snoqualamie, Wenatchee , Spokane , Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Washington .
If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Washington .
If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Washington .
If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Washington .
If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Washington .
If you buy new sunglasses every year because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Washington .
Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old
grand daughter, Carolyn, I got a little
wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want
to be with your friends and you won't go
walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do
now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be
too old to do all those things anyway.'
Some things that come to mind.
'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears & Robuck.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and it cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea.. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
> Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not
> decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts
> because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe
> this also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear.
> Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so too, do
> humans take longer to access information when their brains are full.
> Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they
> get there,
> they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory
> it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise.